Let me admit something. I’ve barely written a word, going on three weeks. I fixed the shifting tense in a chapter. I dashed out a couple of okay poems. Mostly, I’ve been clicking snooze on my alarm or sitting at my writing desk, either staring at the wall or justifying why I am working on a debt spreadsheet or deleting old emails at four thirty in the morning when the world is dark and quiet, and I should be taking advantage of that time.
I can analyze the why. My responsibilities at work have grown to the extent that I must hit the ground running every day and work without pause until the end of the day. This is going to be the case through the end of this school year. Almost two weeks ago now, we made the decision to euthanize one of our three dogs, Maverick. His irreversible heart condition escalated so that he wound up in critical care. We could have moved him to a 24 hour care facility to the tune of eight thousand dollars. But even if that stabilized him enough to come home, his life would have been extended by only a fraction. Irreversible, they said. How many of these posts have I started with some variation of, “I made coffee, walked the dogs”? I have been seeing him around every corner; he was so present in my every routine at home. Our loudest and most outwardly affectionate dog, our house is so quiet without him. This loss is felt in the body; it’s a soreness of spirit that makes everything a little harder.
This Friday is the first day of spring. The signs that tell us we are meant to have slow, fallow periods in our creative journey, and that we will recover the full force of our energy, are all around us: the tough green tulip leaves; the buds on the lilacs, the blueberry bushes, the plum tree; the mauve and green peony shoots appearing seemingly from nowhere; the helebore in full bloom. In nature, it’s time to clean away the dead matter so new life can emerge.
As an artist, you won’t always be growing, blooming. Those are the easiest times. Trusting through the dormant periods of this work is where the true challenge lies. Everyone can hang in there when the sun is shining on you, and there is an ease to the flow of your work.
And why bother at all? Why not just live your human life, since simply that is hard enough?
Answer: Have you ever not gasped when you really looked at a single camelia blossom?
Next month is poetry month, and you know what that means. Poem-a-day! I’ve been taking on this challenge every April for a couple of decades now, and it never fails to fine-tune my attention to language, sound, and the senses. It never fails to provide the emotional release spring invites with its raining and growing and longer days. I will post a prompt daily in Notes, and I’ll include the prompts for all thrity days in my newsletter on April 12. Send me your email in a DM, and I’ll add you to my collaborative email list, where we’ll share some of the poems we are writing.
This week I am endeavoring to get back into the flow, moving slowly, deliberately, giving my full attention. Most importantly, I am showing up at the appointed time. That’s the foundation of this work. The rest will come and go.
Have you appointed a time for your work?
Small Things That Have Been Bringing Me Joy
- Plants coming back to life!
- Cuddling my remaining two dogs
- The midpoint of a run when you forget you’re running at all because you are just blood pumping, lungs working to their edge, body moving fast and sure
One Found Sentence From What I’ve Been Reading
“To be sane in an insane world is to feel insane every day.” —Salman Rushdie, The Eleventh Hour
A Writing Prompt for March
Write a poem, a CNF piece, or a work of fiction that at some point evokes being caught in the rain.
Reflection on February Goals
Okay, somehow in spite of my struggles, I made half of these goals and made a fair effort on the rest.
My March Goals
- Break through
- Show up at the appointed time, every time
- Spend one afternoon sending out queries
Reflection Question for Your Creative Practice
What are the things that help you get going when you’ve gotten stuck/lost the flow? How can you embed these things into your routine?
I also work as a writing coach and love helping writers gain confidence, set goals, and develop their work. I was a writer first, but I’ve been teaching for over twenty-five years. Coaching weaves those two skill sets in a way that I love, love, love. I work with writers locally and over Zoom. For more information on coaching, email me at eatyourwords.lizshine@gmail.com or see my website.
You can see my books here and read some of my short works here.
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