Productivity. Effectiveness. Organization. All things our culture places too much value on. I don’t have to tell you it has something to do with money. It’s why we’re now all being told that learning to use AI for our jobs is the future. Why? Because AI embodies those qualities. Sure, part of making art is producing it. And part of making good art that people want and are moved by requires an eye toward what is effective and organized.
But you’re dancing with the devil there.
These impulses to manifest productivity, effectiveness, and organization at all costs are insidious. They’ll burn you out if you’re not careful. Even too much attention in this ‘winning’ direction in the parts of your life outside your creative work can leave you empty and uninspired.
I’m on spring break this week. I came into the pause on fumes, motor smoking. For months, there has been no end to planning, grading, emails, and side projects at work. I’ve been staying late and arriving early. Still, there seems to be no end. Not even a lull. In the six weeks leading up to break, these circumstances worsened due to a hiccup in the requirements for a certification I’ve been working on. To fix the situation, I needed to give up my planning period with no salary bump, adding another class to plan for, making that four classes to plan for every day, and no planning period to do that planning. Add to that a measurable dose of heartache: the usual family woes, a friendship lost at sea, a family dog passed.
I’ve been reluctant to commit to anything this break. I haven’t even been signing up for yoga classes. When someone asks me if I want to go somewhere or do something, I feel dizzy, a little nauseous, and have the urge to run and hide under a table or behind a door, leaving others to wonder: “Where’d Liz go?”
I’ve been in what Julia Cameron calls creative recovery. I listened to her book this week while weeding the garden (a small thing I can control). I know, I know. How could I have not read her before?! As a young writer, I was a Natalie Goldberg acolyte all the way. Cameron’s got some gems in her book. Of course, you know about morning pages and artist dates, meant to gift yourself with time to play and explore. She reminds us that our inner artists are children. Specifically, the children who dreamed of making art.
I’ve also been writing a poem a day, as I have for over a decade now in April. (Access all my prompts here!) Thirty no-stress, judgment-free efforts at putting words together just to do it, to try, to see what I can do.
Here’s one for Day 9 that fits the theme of this post. The prompt I used was: Take a line from a poem you love and make it the title of your poem. Try using a technique or two used in the original poem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice cream Come hither; throw open the doors Bid flowers to open, worms to wake and wiggle Call the surly self to stretch and move into a half moon while the water turns dust to coffee Let go, go the illusion of your age Take from this day all the bright moments Avoid sandpits and shadows You know where they wait Let go, go the illusion of your age You are still a girl standing on a bridge black licorice ice cream smeared on face and elbows calling, "Can we?!"
I’ve been sleeping in, moving my body, jumping out from around corners to startle Chris and Winston. I’ve been talking to the dogs, staying away from my phone and the news. I’ve been doodling. I reorganized my office, made space to roll out my yoga mat, and changed my view from the window.
Parts of Cameron’s book weren’t for me. I’m already good at making time to write, prioritizing that work, and setting boundaries. What I appreciated (and needed) was the reminder that it is necessary that we make time to play. It led me to pluck another book off my shelf to read next: Deep Play by Diane Ackerman. I’ll give a report on that one in May.
Cameron talks about serendipity in her book as a faith that the universe will provide what you need if you only accept those gifts. Coming across her book was that for me. Though parts of it are a bit cheesy, staying with it gave me the gems my worn-out, bruised-up spirit needed.
For the rest of this school year, I might make progress on my WIP, or I might publish a poem. But my goals aren’t going to be about that for April and May. For now, I am healing. Some plans I have for artist dates and ways to spend my time:
- Write for the pleasure of writing, focus on that.
- Make a zine
- Doodle
- Break out the watercolors and collage materials and get messy
- Write poems
- Dance and sing and listen to music while doing chores
- Watch some comedy
- Swim!
- Give hugs the way Minerva does (my niece, who holds nothing back)
Small Things That Have Been Bringing Me Joy
- Longer days
- Rainbows on my wall from crystals in my window
- Writing poems and prompts for poems
One Found Sentence From What I’ve Been Reading
“Here he was, a man with spurs and a cowboy hat, wildly pointing a gun at two fourteen-year-old girls, yet stopping, carefully, at all the Stop signs.” Who Will Run the Frog Hospital, Lorrie Moore
A Writing Prompt for April
Write something that makes you laugh out loud. Share it with someone.
Reflection on March Goals
I did them, but now it’s time to stop trying to make progress for a bit.
My March Goals
- Write every day and enjoy every minute of it.
- Go on artist dates.
- Risk embarrassment and do it anyway.
Reflection Question for Your Creative Practice
What are you doing just for the fun of it? What are the habits and practices that are just for play, not to accomplish anything?
I also work as a writing coach and love helping writers gain confidence, set goals, and develop their work. I was a writer first, but I’ve been teaching for over twenty-five years. Coaching weaves those two skill sets in a way that I love, love, love. I work with writers locally and over Zoom. For more information on coaching, email me at eatyourwords.lizshine@gmail.com or see my website.
You can see my books here and read some of my short works here.
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