Author Archives: lizshine74

About lizshine74

Liz Shine wrote and read her way out of small-minded, small-town doom. We’re not talking about riches here. We’re talking about how a practice like writing can save a person. How it can give hope, shape identity, and ignite purpose. She hopes to write stories and poems that move readers the way certain works have made all the difference to her. She lives in Olympia, WA in the USA. She believes in the power of practice and has been practicing writing since some time in the early 90s when she became an adult in the rain-soaked city of Aberdeen. Writing began with journaling, as a way to understand a confusing, sometimes violent coming-of-age. She writes mostly fiction, some nonfiction, and poetry, and holds an MFA from Pacific Lutheran University’s Rainier Writers Workshop. She has published in Shark Reef, Dual Coast, and Blue Crow Magazine. She is a founding editor at Red Dress Press.

The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers

Carson McCuller’s The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter is bleak, suggesting that no matter how strong the desire for a love that is recognized by both individuals in a relationship, there exists an inherent isolation of the human heart and soul, the “lonely hunter”. A strong desire for love coupled with an incapacity for loving. One of life’s underlying paradoxes that leads to suffering and oppression of the spirit. Each character in the novel is suffering beautifully and in need of uplifting. We feel this powerfully and poignantly in reading the story. Our own hearts cannot help but become engaged, cry out in argument, in sympathy. McCullers compels us with a diverse and interesting cast of characters set in a small town who come together but remain desperately isolated from each other. Two stylistic devices McCullers uses to heighten this sense of isolation are short, concise descriptions of even how even the weather burdens the lives of these people and unbiased, detailed physical descriptions of characters in their most isolated moments.

“The sun wore Mick early…It was too hot even to drink coffee for breakfast” (33), “The rain continued, gray and bitter and cold” (160), “It was true that it like to never quit raining” (160): these are only a few of the examples of the vivid, unelaborated setting descriptions sprinkled throughout the novel that serve to deepen the sense of oppression in this small community. No matter whether the sun is out or it’s raining, it is described as being a hardship, a form of oppression.

Major events in the novel like deaths and arrests are told in summary detail. McCullers spends the most detail on the scenes that depict characters in their most isolated moments. “She hummed one of the tunes, and after a while in the hot, empty house by herself she felt the tears come in her eyes. Her throat got tight and rough and she couldn’t sing any more. Quickly she wrote the fellow’s name at the very top of the list—MOTSART” (39). This is one of many of the scenes where we see Mick struggle to get the music always running in her head down on paper or to hear it more clearly as she wanders in the dark streets alone at night. She is alone in this struggle, never gets the piano she desperately desires, and in the end, quits writing music at all. Just as Doctor Copeland is alone and suffering, he “sat in his dark kitchen alone…The red glow from the chinks of the stove shone on his face—in this light his heavy lips looked almost purple against his black skin, and his gray hair, tight against his skull like a cap of lamb’s wool, took on a bluish color too. He sat motionless in this position for a long time” (70). Biff Brannon who we are told hasn’t enjoyed music on years, whose wife dies and it seems to barely shake him, on one evening is describedthus, “At last he put away his mandolin and rocked slowly in the darkness. Death. Sometimes he could almost feel it in the room with him…What did he understand? Nothing. Where are we headed? Nowhere” (237). Each character, though they see each other daily and live in a small town lives primarily in isolation from the rest. McCullers adds irony to this in the presence of Singer, the town mute. Mick, Jake Blount, and Dr. Copeland all go to see the mute privately to “talk” to him about what’s bothering them. All believe with equal strength that Singer gets them, that he understands. The reader knows, from what he says to his friend Antonapolous when visiting him that he doesn’t really understand them at all, but they just keep talking. This false connection only serves to make the isolation of these characters more profound, more hopeless and pathetic.

In looking at McCullers extremely minimalist, uncommented on descriptions of the physical, I am reminded that physical descriptions can be so powerful, so connected to the big picture in a story. I also see how the way that something is described, like that the sun was shining and how it’s presented are part of tone. It’s not so much whether it rains or shines, but how it rains or shines. Knowing what your own attitude toward a story is and being consistent in that will make the writer stronger. The tone of a first draft can shift easily during a piece, particularly if you don’t have an outline going in to it. So, it seems that tone should be one of the first questions to ask in revision.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
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Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

The Hours by Michael Cunningham

One of the writers in my book group suggested The Hours by Michael Cunningham as our book for February. He’d read the book and admired its craft. Also, he is working on a screen play based on his novel and thought it might be interesting to read the novel and screenplay together. While I also could not help but admire certain elements of craft, I didn’t love the book—wasn’t moved by it. It’s worth noting that the four men in our group all liked the book significantly more than the two women. Both myself and the other woman writer thought that the seams showed too much, that there was a lack of emotional authenticity that made the story feel contrived. That aside, there was one element of craft I thought Cunningham pulled off with power and grace: juxtaposition, both within and between the three parallel stories.
Juxtaposition served not just to flesh out characters and relationships between characters, but to create the tension of subtext in the present situation. On pages 42-43 the placement of Laura’s thinking about Virginia Woolf and her own fascination with Woolf, “a woman of such brilliance, such strangeness, such immeasurable sorrow” (42) precedes a description of what a force of will it takes for her to begin her daily routine, interact with her family, “She conquers the desire to go quietly back upstairs, to her bed and book. She conquers her irritation at the sound of her husband’s voice” (43). This enables us to see the depth of her withdrawal, gives us a basis for comparison, makes it more than just a moment. Then, shortly after that the depth of her depression and withdrawal is further illustrated by the setting side by side of her son’s reaction to her and then her own reaction to her son’s affection. While he is “happy to see her, and more than happy…transported by love”, she “reaches into her pocket for a cigarette” (44), an unconscious gesture of anxiety. She is pregnant, with a loving husband and a small child and clearly, an unhappy woman. Then in Clarissa’s story on page 126 we see lots of really great detail about her history with Louis, Louis’s history with Richard, which makes the small talk conversation that occurs between Clarissa and Louis about where he is staying and who he is seeing all the more strained and weighted.
This happens again and again in the novel. Backstory just at the right time. Just when it’s going to bring us deeper into the present scene. Within the different stories, I do admire the way Cunningham presents details at the right time, so that they add to each other and play off each other and make the whole greater.
A similar tension and dimension exists in how scenes are juxtaposed between the three stories. First Clarissa has flowers to buy, then in the next chapter it’s Virginia Woolf buying flowers, then Laura is musing on the line in Mrs. Dalloway about buying flowers and admiring the beauty of the writing. What is Clarissa buying flowers for? For an award party for Richard that will never happen because he’ll kill himself. Richard, the same little boy that will help Laura bake a cake for his father and then will watch her dump the cake he participated in making into the trash bin because the flowers aren’t perfect. This juxtaposition of scenes about flowers leads the reader to ask deeper questions about the significance of the detail, wonder what the author is suggesting about life and beauty. A similar effect is created in the repetition and juxtaposition of the idea and images of fame and the line “What a lark! What a plunge!” to suggest that beyond and more important than the question of lasting fame is the hours (moments) of the lives we lead and who we love. The fact that Louis leaves Clarissa, furious with her not because of anything that actually passes between them, but by his own hurt feelings about not being the prominent figure in Richard’s book and what we know about his history is emphasized further by how as he’s leaving, the sun “explodes like a flashbulb in his face” What he’s really upset about isn’t his lament that there is “so little love in the world”, but his own bruised ego, his desire to be significant. Right after that we move to Mrs. Brown who is striving even in cake baking to “make something finer, more significant”. This same struggle is paralleled in Virginia’s striving to write well, as she descends into a depression that will lead to her suicide. In the juxtaposition of these same elements in parallel stories, the message comes through with greater resonance.
The placement of detail in The Hours seems always to have an echo and to be placed in such a way that that echo can be understood by the reader. I’ve definitely had trouble in the past with trying to put in too much detail all at once for the sake of filling in the reader. Cunningham’s The Hours offers a nice reminder to us that it is okay to withhold details, and in fact, it is quite powerful to ask this question: what else does it do for this scene besides inform the reader about the character or scene. How does it tie into something in the big picture? Can it wait?

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Birthday Poem

Every year for the last five years, I’ve written a poem to celebrate my birthday. I just can’t think of any better way to express my gratitude for life than writing a poem. My birthday isn’t until Thursday, but Thursday’s poem happened today. It’s a pantoum. Strange, because I don’t tend toward rhyme of form. It just happened that way. A culmination of some loose threads that came together and formed this poem I think. A thought, an image, and a conversation with a friend about the difference between song and poetry.

Be born in breath

There are at least one hundred ways to be born,
not including the first–birth.
Each day begins at break of morn.
And, inevitable, death shadows this earth.

Not including the first–birth,
be born in breath, free-flowing.
Yes, inevitable, death shadows this earth.
But, shadows are born from the light of life loving.

Be born in breath, free-flowing.
Light draws the seed-sprout from its earthy grave, a peony.
But shadows are born from the light of life loving,
just as light pours your shadow, holding my shadow, before me.

Wake with dreams on your tongue. Eat fruit for breakfast.
Each day begins at break of morn.
Peel, slice, let the juice drip to your elbow. Regarding light, don’t fast.
There are at least one hundred ways to be born.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Moral Disorder and Birds of America

I had not yet decided whether to write two separate papers on Lorrie Moore’s Birds of America and Margaret Atwood’s Moral Disorder or to try to link them in some way. I thought I’d like to link them if I could, but wanted that link to surface naturally in my reading and thinking about each short story collection. I recognized early on that each collection had a center point that connected each story to the other. Moore’s stories all mentioned birds in some way. Atwood’s stories all focus on the same primary character. This wasn’t enough though. I kept reading and noting particularities of style. It was “Moral Disorder”, the title story of Atwood’s collection that offered to me the basis for the comparison I’ll make here.

In general, I found Moore and Atwood to differ greatly in style. And, Ibelieve that can be best discussed through two stories in particular: Moore’s “Real Estate” and “Moral Disorder”. Both stories explore the relationship of a couple who move into new homes. Both are fixer-uppers. Both stories are concerned with the relationship between life and death, about the struggles of romantic love, and about the idea of “home”. The particularities of style between the two writers make for a remarkable contrast between them.

The openings of each story beg comparison. “There’s never been such a lovely spring, Nell thought…” (116) begins Atwood’s story. Moore begins, “It must be, Ruth thought, that she was going to die in the spring” (178). And though Atwood acknowledges the violence in nature throughout, hers is primarily a story about the human push toward creating and sustaining life. Moore’s story, however, is about a woman who has lost her desire to sustain her own life and who in despair and desperation, takes the life of another.

Moore relies heavily on our thinking brain, employing irony, satire, and insight. She elaborates on and explains much of what the characters do and say and this is easily seen in taking a close look at the dialogue. Atwood relies on subtext rather than insight, and engages our seeing brain through metaphor and imagery. She does not process those sights for the reader.

Nature imagery appears in both stories. Moore’s main character Ruth is primarily concerned with ridding her house of its various infestations. She has no sense of green, growing things. She can’t even tell the difference between a violet and a weed. She’s dealing with “crows the size of suitcases”( Moore 193), “carpenter ants—like shiny pieces of a child’s game” (193), squirrels and raccoons in the attic. She hires an exterminator and a landscaper, she buys a gun to shoot crows and still the “geese, the crows, the squirrels, the raccoons, the bats, the ants, the kids: Ruth now went to the firing range with Carla as often as she could” (Moore 206). Moore gives us plenty of insight into how Ruth is processing all this: “What she was feeling was too strange, too contrary, too isolated for mere emotion. It had to be a premonition…a premonition of death” (177), and “she never knew anymore what was a good life and what was bad, what was desirable matter and what was antimatter, what was the thing itself and what was the death of the thing” (201). Throughout Moore’s story we are given insight after insight, showing us the depth of Ruth’s suffering and her suffering over her suffering: “Every house is a grave, thought Ruth” (191).

Atwood relies on what we see and reveals only the simplest thoughts and emotions directly to us. She writes that Nell thought this or Nell wanted that, but not too often and without the depth and elaboration Moore uses. Primarily, she relies on subtext, as in this description which comes right after the morning call of peacocks on her farm being described as “like babies being murdered” (124):

“Nell planted everything she could think of. Tomatoes,

peas, spinach, carrots, turnips, beets, winter and summer

squash, cucumbers, succhinis, onions, potatoes. She

wanted generosity, abundance, an overflowing of fecundity,

as in Renaissance paintings of fruitful goddesses—Demeter,

Pomona—in flowing robes with one breast bare and glowing

edibles tumbling out of their baskets” (125).

We are not given insight into the inner working of Nell’s mind aside from the most basic emotions, but we know that there is some deeper dissatisfaction in all the life-tending she does on the farm for her live in “spouse” and his sons. She wants something that she is not getting, but we don’t hear her think about it like we do with Ruth. This is also revealed in the subtext of dialogue, as in her response to her partner’s “He’s in love with you,” in reference to the pet lamb they have to kill. She says: “I’m glad somebody is” (306). It is through subtext that Atwood reveals the desires of her main character. What is not explained for the reader but is suggested through imagery, what is not spoken between characters. It isn’t until the last page of the story that Nell’s need is revealed. We know she needs something, like the peacock needs his mate, the hen needs to horde all those eggs. Nell wants to produce offspring and doesn’t feel supported in that. “You don’t want me to have any babies” (140), she says to Tig, her spouse, on the last page of the story. We still don’t hear her think about it. We just hear her finally articulate it.

If it was a baby that Moore’s Ruth had wanted we would have been told right away, along with why she wanted the child and what was in her way. Let’s look at two exchanges between the female main characters and their respective spouses:

“ ‘A move…yes. A move will be good. We’ve soiled the nest,

in many respects.” her husband had said, in the circuitous

syntax and ponderous Lousiana drawl, that, like so much else

about him, had once madder her misty with desire and now

drove her nuts with scorn”(Moore 183).

“ ‘There’s a hundred acres,’ said Tig.

‘The house is kind of dark,’ said Nell. ‘It’s not very

cheerful.’

‘We’ll clean the windows,’ said Tig…

Nell didn’t say it wasn’t the windows, not the wallpaper.

But paint would help” (Atwood 117).

Atwood writes of one conversation between Nell and Tig: “There was more to this conversation, but it wasn’t voiced” (130). This is the case throughout the story and this subtext—what is not revealed—is what shows us the depth of Nell’s desire. She becomes “overrun with vegetables” and still the desire remains (132).

Moore splits open Ruth’s mind for us, revealing what she thinks, what she wants, and even the how and why of it to show us just how dark her spirit has become in remaining in a loveless marriage for so long, in surviving cancer only to not live.

Moore engages our thinking minds with irony and satire. Ruth, pondering her daughter’s dance lessons thinks “she wasn’t supposed to have taken them seriously! They had been intended as middle-class irony and window dressing—you weren’t actually supposed to become a dancer” (Moore 188). In this way the author is poking fun of the pointless life Ruth leads and then adds to this by naming her daughter “Mitzy”. Child or dog? We see this tendency to poke fun at her mundane, meaningless life again and again, as when Ruth’s friend Carla is working on “both her inner thighs and her inner child” (Moore 180). This technique invites the reader to also pick apart Ruth’s life and try to understand what great tragedy of circumstance or character brought her to the point in the end where without hesitance she shoots a man who breaks into their home and demands at gunpoint that she and her husband sing for him, and that this makes her realize what’s been true all along: she wants to die.

Atwood engages our seeing brain, not exposing the inner working of her character’s mind, but showing us all the magnificent detail of her farm life, all it’s life and violence. We see the peacock whose mate gets eaten by a weasel and who then in rage kills several hens and tries to attack his own reflection in a window. She shows us Nell cleaning, doing laundry, tending her garden, making ice cream and cheese. She shows us how she nursed the lamb that eventually has to be slaughtered because the animal loved her too much and kept attacking Tig. We see how she enters the slaughterhouse and describes “a menstrual smell.” We know she is having a crisis of womanhood. We can guess at why, but we do not, even in the end, when it’s revealed in dialogue, get to hear Nell think about it.

Both authors explore the relationship between life and death, love and hate in stories that tap into the symbolism of spring. Both stories show the power of a woman’s desire to love and be loved. They are so different though in style and tone. Moore uses irony, exposing the absurdity of a cancer survivor’s living as a dead person in her “grave” house. Atwood uses imagery and metaphor to show Nell’s desire to create and sustain life, to reproduce, to immerse herself in the things in nature that grow and love.

So, what does this all matter from the perspective of writing itself? It matters that these peculiarities of style were with some variation, consistent throughout the entirety of both collections. I could make these same comparisons of style between any two stories in the collection. Moore uses insight and irony. Her characters are joyless. She italicizes. Atwood reveals through subtext, imagery and metaphor. She gets crafty with punctuation, ending statements with questions, for instance. It just happens that these two stories had a couple of other parallels that made them, in my view, the best candidates for that discussion. This makes me wonder how I would characterize my own style and to what degree I’ve even developed that style. Also, I have a book-length collection of stories with a thread that I think is too bare and perhaps visible only to me. I’m thinking, after reading these two collections, that there is a stronger thread there to emphasize. I’m also thinking about whether it might be useful to do an informal evaluation characterizing the style of my novel from chapter to chapter, just to see what I can see. Is it consistent with my other work? What are my tics and tendencies?

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Amsterdam by Ian McEwan

I was delighted by Ian McEwan’s Amsterdam. There wasn’t a time when I became impatient or bored with the story, or when I questioned the style of the writing. In spite of the fact that the two main characters were shallow, ego-driven men that it was impossible to sympathize with, I loved it! It made me think. It made me laugh. I often had to pause in utter sentence envy. McEwan’s matter-of-fact tone, sly word choice, and perfect timing, made this a book that I will have to read again, because I do feel like there is much to be learned here.

McEwan’s tone is matter-of-fact from the first sentence: “Two former lovers of Molly Lane stood waiting outside the crematorium chapel with their backs to the February chill” (3). It rarely strays from this straightforward reporting of events. The descriptions of physical actions are concise, without frills: “He stretched, shuddered, yawned” (108). The dialogue is entirely in fragments, without unnecessary words. This works because we aren’t supposed to read too much into the characters of Clive or Vernon. They are shallow. McEwan does linger on Clive a while at times, but only to express the absurdity of the man who supposes he is working for a higher purpose, but in reality, though he claims to loathe the “license of the free artistic spirit” (66) that would allow a person to get out of an obligation, his “higher purpose” leads him to ignore a woman in distress and to murder his best friend.

Clive is the “ridiculous man” that he accuses George of being when he visits him and he turns up fully clothed under his silk robe. His ego over his art has robbed him of his humanity and his intelligence. He can’t even recognize his own vanity: “A genius. Though he sounded it guiltily on his inner ear, he would not let the word reach his lips. He was not a vain man. A genius. It was a term that had suffered from inflationary overuse, but surely there was a certain level of achievement, a gold standard, that was nonnegotiable, beyond mere opinion” (143). Clive is a vain man. This is emphasized again as he lapses into the sleep of death and is “overcome by a sudden deep affection for himself as just the sort of person one should stick by” (182). The matter-of-fact way that McEwan leads us to Clive’s death leaves no room for sympathy. And why sympathize with a man so utterly absorbed in his self that he thinks no one else really misses his former lover Molly, no other artist is as “high” as he is, and no one else really gets the joy of a good hike like he does?

McEwan adds further fuel to what is really a satire, attacking the media (Vernon) and the “arts” (Clive) with his slyly indulgent word choice. His repetition of the phrase “higher calling” or “higher purpose” leave the reader asking the important question of what is the higher calling of media and art? He influences our opinion of the characters by loading his sentences with heavy words like “bloated”, “fervent”, and “misanthropy”. If one were to judge the physical weight of this book by the heaviness of the words and not the pages, it would rival a novel twice its length. His sentences are often concise, clipped, but they are not simple in word choice. This weightiness of words invites the reader to take what is so often absurd and ironic with a certain serious of mind, elevates the satire.

Irony and satire abound from the beginning, as in this description of Molly’s two former lovers (Clive and Vernon) standing in a rose a garden at her memorial that was “marked with a sign, THE GARDEN OF REMEMBERANCE. Each plant had been savagely cut back to within a few inches of the frozen ground, a practice Molly used to deplore. The patch of lawn was strewn with flattened cigarette butts, for this was a place where people came to stand and wait for the funeral party ahead of theirs to clear the building” (4). And yet, McEwan plays on our expectations in other ways too. He chooses to reveal and conceal information in ways that keep us turning pages. For instance, we know about the photos of Garmony for pages and pages before we “see” them. When we do see them, we see them through Clive’s eyes. We expect of course for Clive to have the same reaction as Vernon. He can’t stand Garmony for the same reasons as Vernon: his relationship with Mollly and his conservative politics. However, Clive surprises us. Contrary to what we expect, he sees Garmony’s humanity for the first time in gazing upon the photos of him wearing women’s clothing. Also, there is the fact that when we first look in on Garmony, it is surprisingly from his wife’s perspective and not his. McEwan’s choice of when and how to reveal certain details of the story were really quite breath taking and unpredictable.

Though I can’t say the characters moved me, I can say that the writing in Amsterdam did. The choice of words, the pace and time, and the confident delivery seemed without flaw. I will certainly have to read it again.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera

The narrator of The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera is familiar to me. He’s that boy who broke my heart. The cool one who could mold and shape me with his impressive way of talking about meaningful things in beautiful words, but feared vulnerability so much that is made him quite cruel in the end.

For most of the book, I was lying on my belly, chin in my cupped hand, entranced by his familiar voice. But, in the last pages, I began to feel cheated, like the whole thing had been a sham. Of course, it had. He’d been intruding on his so-called story practically from the start, and on page 239, he comes right out and admits his fraud, musing, “…characters are not born like people, of woman; they are born of a situation, a sentence, a metaphor containing in a nut shell a basic human possibility that the author thinks no one else has discovered or said something essential about” (239). He never pretends that his characters are real, yet I loved it most of the way through. So, why was I so let down in the end?

What had compelled me about this visible narrator in the first place? I’ll tell you: that he is spinning some interesting ideas and that he is an interesting character in his own right. The boy who broke my heart. It is this narrator who we spend the first two chapters with, who has us mulling over the Nietzsche’s idea of eternal return and his own arguments against the idea. It isn’t until the third chapter that he even introduces Tereza and Tomas, the main characters, and even then he does it in the context of his own mind: “I have been thinking about Tomas for many years” (6). We take him to be a wise man because he knows so much about the motivations and inner working of his characters, always revealing the why fors and the how comes: “he feared the responsibility” (7); “she felt so weak, so debilitated by Tomas’ infidelities” (63); “For twenty years he had seen his mother…in his wife” (126). This narrator lures us with his knowledge of philosophy, and then sustains our interest with his insight into human psychology. He is articulate and well spoken. We believe there is something we can learn from him.

There must be some reason he dissects his characters for us so visibly, so without the usual invisibility of a narrator who is not an actor in the events of his story. There is, of course, and he tells us this too: “Human life occurs only once, and the reason we cannot determine which of our decisions is good and which bad is that in a given situation we can make only one decisions: we are not granted a second, third, or fourth life in which to compare various decisions” (241). This is right about the point where the little things that had bothered me about the book took center stage and instead of lying rapt reading, I sat up straight and turned the final pages with annoyance.

So, what left me feeling cheated about the book? It was this: the narrator’s perfection. He was too all knowing, didn’t leave any unexplained complexities in his characters, and didn’t leave anything for the reader to figure out. That, and that he didn’t even leave a single character living in the end. He killed them all.

The character arcs did not feel real to me. It bothered me that he knew the character’s dreams, that he knew them so vividly, that they were all so perfectly symbolic. The fact that both Tereza and Tomas at the end of their life change the very thing that drives them throughout the entire story feels contrived. These aren’t real characters after all. They are “basic human possibilities”. Am I to believe that they are capable of that kind of transformation? Tereza gives up her jealousy. Tomas gives up his “missions”. I get it in an academic sense, but I don’t believe it is really all that possible.

The story is just too tidy. The characters are dissected and diagrammed, and then they die. This is true even of Franz and Sabina, the minor characters. And in the end it has to come back to what the narrator said from the outset. And to me, it just doesn’t feel like a very human possibility. So, while this narrator entranced me, in the end I realized what I had wanted all along. His vulnerability. I wanted the narrator to change, to arrive at an epiphany. Perhaps to make his characters real. He didn’t. While it did not break my heart that this was so, I wound up feeling like this supposedly wise man was really sort of dishonest and cruel, that all along all he had in mind was the philosophical tenet that he’d already revealed a hundred pages before the story ended.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Fiction Excercise: Pick an object you’ve encountered today and write a piece of short fiction that includes that object.

What Liz wrote:

Dry-mouth, her neck in a knot, she kicked her foot a little to the right to check. Was he still there? Shit. He was.

She stretched her arms and legs out wide, rolled over and pulled him toward her until she was cradling him against her belly. She pressed her breasts against his back and nibbled his ear. When she was sure he was awake, she rolled him over, climbing on to him.

Two hours later, the Zen alarm clock began it’s slow chiming them back to consciousness. They’d both fallen back to sleep. They’d both orgasmed. This time when she rolled over, he was already on the edge of the bed, sliding his leg into his worn out jeans.

“You going so soon?” She didn’t mean it.

“Yeah. I’ve got an interview today. Need to go get cleaned up. It’ll probably be nothing.”

“Well, good luck. Who does interviews on a Saturday anyway?” She hadn’t meant to ask out loud. She was just making conversation.

“Not everyone works an easy Monday through Friday, nine to five, you know.” He was buckling his belt.

She tried to remember what he’d said the carving on his belt buckle signified. Something about willing his own destiny. The contradiction had occurred to her at the time, but sitting in the pulsing light of the dance club, she’d chosen to hold it back. It didn’t matter anyway. She knew what he’d meant. She’d taken another drink of her gin and tonic, said, “That’s cool. Means something. I respect that.” Then he’d looked at her like he wanted to devour her and she imagined undoing that buckle, sliding the leather belt through the belt loops of his jeans, dropping the belt to the floor. In that way, she supposed, she had willed her own destiny. She’d wanted to be devoured.

Now, having kissed him at the door, each pair of eyes running from the other, she pulled the pot of fresh coffee, brewed at just the time the machine’s computer was programmed to, off the burner. She filled a periwinkle blue mug. She read the inscription, “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became the butterfly.”

She remembered the day she bought it and why. She couldn’t will herself to face her two teenage girls just yet, not after all those hours spent waiting on a hard wood bench to be the last couple of the morning to ask the judge to please allow a divorce, to provide evidence that they’d signed all the forms, completed the necessary parenting plan.

She’d felt like an empty shoebox sitting there staring at the back of her husband’s head, watching the way his arm draped over Becky’s shoulders. She knew just the one. The one at the top of her closet filled with love letters and their secret photos. Nothing had been added to it for years. It may as well be empty now. Becky was just a friend, a colleague, a damn good broker. That’s what he’d said.

It was raining. The girls were at their father’s for the weekend. She stirred the creamer around and around with her spoon until the coffee was just the right shade of light brown. She’d have left him years ago if she’d had the nerve. But she hadn’t and so she’d gotten left.

She remembered now that she’d also bought a book that day. A hard-bound book of poetry on transformation from a series she’d read some others from and liked a lot. One collection of love. One on Joy.

When she’d arrived home from the bookstore, she’d placed it on the shelf immediately. It was dinner time, she had thought. I have to keep some semblance of order around here. For the girls.

She pulled it off the shelf now, six weeks after purchasing it, for the first time. She opened it delicately, feeling the spine bend and change in her hands. She pulled the afghan her mother had made her for her sixteenth birthday, blues, purples and greens, from the top of the hall closet and wrapped it around her. She settled onto the couch, propped her feet onto the teak ottoman, and began to read one poem after the next.

When the ring of the telephone woke her three hours later, she was on page thirty-seven.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

New Year Reflections

Every single year I write a New Year letter outlining my goals and desires for the coming year. You can be sure that this year, I have them. I have become adept over the years at setting and achieving goals. Life is about the digging in, the uncovering, and the reshaping of our selves. I do not want to write about those things this year. I will try to do them all. I will keep running, and writing, and trying to be a better parent and teacher. I will do and be all that I can, because those things bring me joy and are part of who I am.
So what will I write about then?
I will write about love, because this is the thing that I want more than anything, really, and that I’d like to cultivate more of in my life. The novel I’m writing now is about a young man who is rather inhabited with the idea of love and who finds it where he didn’t expect or want to.
Some months ago, my husband and I split, a rather drawn out break-up. However unhappy I was in the last years of our marriage, and I was desperately unhappy, I have not been able to shake this gaping whole left in his absence, that I used to fill with love songs: when you’re lost and look, you will find me…you do something to me…whatever words I say…we had a love, a love, a love you can’t find every day…and you give yourself way, and you give yourself away.
I do want to cultivate the love relationships I have in my life: many beautiful friendships, a wonderfully mouthy teenage son, family that is always, always there when I need them, and gratitude [perhaps the greatest love of all? (allusion to Whitney intended, tongue-in-cheek)] for life and all that is life. I do absolutely want THAT love too, the one you can’t find every day. However, I do not need it. This is, I think, what I need to cultivate. It’s a paradox, I know. To cultivate not needed the thing you most want. But life is a paradox in so many ways—does it surprise you?
We live in a culture of instant everything. Browsing the ads on CraigsList, I’d say we want that in love too. The result is we lie to ourselves to make it happen, we persist when we should recover ourselves. There are lots of possibilities for all of us out there in love, and to unravel oneself entirely for one—however radiant and certain it seems—is foolishness. Not surprisingly, we confuse sex with love. Sex can be quite wonderful without love and love defined mostly through sex is likely to be a love in which one partner is submerged, enslaved. You should give yourself away when the love fits the vision you’ve cultivated.
This empty space in my life has left me remarkably off-kilter. In one moment, I’m soaring, riding a long lost freedom to think and be that I’d forgotten were even there. In another, I’m frightened, alone, balling at the intensity of the loneliness I feel.
In this New Year, I want to cultivate patience and vision, because I know precisely what I want in love. The intention of that has got to be strong enough to carry me through the wonderfully human feelings of impulsivity and desire. I want to jump into to life, not retreat from it for fear of losing my vision, my patience. I want to act with impulse and desire, remembering always the sacredness of that vision.

I want more of all of these things too:
–margins of good books to write in
–kisses
–arguments for the sake of argument (thanks Winston for fulfilling this for me lately)
–words written
–coffee conversations
–lunch-time walks
–great movies
–laughter
–more laughter 😉
–Illuminated moments—ah-ha!
–walks/runs with the dog
–random encounters with new people including spontaneous conversations (like with the guy in the sauna the other day)

I will state one specific goal for the New Year: I want to be able to perform the advanced yoga flow sequence I’ve been working on. That will be a feat indeed!

Happy New Year to all! May you do and be your vision for 2009.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

An orgy of writers?

“Overcapacity has been something generally acknowledged across the writing industry for at least 10 years. In a 2002 essay in The New York Times, the onetime best-selling novelist and story writer Ann Beattie mourned the situation of the modern writer, living in a world where people are more interested in “being a writer” than in writing itself. “There are too many of us, and M.F.A. programs graduate more every year, causing publishers to suffer snow-blindness, which has resulted in everyone getting lost,” she lamented. That Ann Beattie must now compete on Amazon with a self-published author named Ann Rothrock Beattie is proof of how enormous the blizzard has become.”
From “Bail Out the Writers!” by Paul Greenberg, published in the NY Times 12/9/2008

Comment: So what! In reading this article, I had to remind myself why I write in the first place. I write, as many writers do, out of a freakin’ unstoppable inner drive to understand. Would it be such a bad thing if every single one of us tried our hand at being a “writer”? I don’t think so. In fact, it could be something resembling utopian. The idea of making money off writing is a potential perk so far away from the heart of why I write in the first place, that I can only bring myself to attempt entering the strange and complicated world that is publishing in short-lived bursts of oh, what the hell energy. I feel about that endeavor the same way I feel about the fact that as a high school English teacher I have to assign my students letter grades and participate in team-building activities in which I am encouraged to “cross-pollinate” with other teachers, but during which the entire time is spent musing on why in the hell we are doing that particular thing anyway. Since we could die at any moment, shouldn’t we spend as much time as possible doing what is meaningful? I prefer to work for a living and write to see.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Interpreter Of Maladies

I tend to read with my head more than my heart. I like to see how ideas develop through story and how writers put words together in interesting ways. It’s a rare book that moves me to tears. It’s not that I’m impervious to melancholy moods. I just usually experience the sadness more intellectually than emotionally. So, when I read the first story in Jhumpa Lahiri’s Interpreter Of Maladies and found myself teary-eyed in the end, I had to wonder at this. As I read, I continued to feel a more emotional connection to the stories than I am accustomed to. Sure, this in part has to do with the subject matter, but what I’d like to explore here is how the author’s use of varying sentence structures contribute to this affect, how they are akin to a kind of background music, playing on feeling in that way that songs do.
Lahiri’s prose often follows one of two kinds of rhythms. Beginning with a concise statement and unraveling details and commas from there, as in this paragraph beginning from “Sexy”: “It shamed her now. now, when she and Dev made love, Miranda closed her eyes and saw deserts and elephants, and marble pavilions floating on lakes beneath a full moon” (96). Or, starting with rolling sentences and then ending with a concise statement, as in this paragraph from the same story: “By February, Laxmi’s cousin’s husband still hadn’t some to his senses. He had returned to Montreal, argued bitterly with his wife for two weeks, packed two suitcases, and flown back to London. He wanted a divorce” (99). This luring and delivering rhythm suits the fact that Lahiri is deeply concerned with the inner emotional lives of her characters and how that impacts them and the people around them. The way she delivers dialogue compliments this rhythm.
If you look at the way she delivers dialogue in “Temporary Matters”, you can see this clearly. There are never more than a few lines of dialogue at a time. In between comes the mise en scene, described so sparingly, but so specifically to suggest that those details are symbolic to what is happening with and between the characters, as in this passage where Shoba and Shukumar are finally talking, sharing things that they’ve never told each other after barely interacting for what appears to be at least several months, perhaps years:
“Your turn,” she said, stopping his thoughts.
At the end of their street Shukumar heard sounds of a drill and the electricians shouting over it. He looked at the darkened facades of the houses lining the street. Candles glowed in the windows of one. In spite of the warmth, smoke rose from the chimney. (17)
The reminder here of the light/dark imagery that throughout the story symbolizes how the character conceal and then reveal their inner lives to each other, added to the chaos of the drills and the shouting foreshadow what is to come for these characters in finally divulging their secrets. They will ultimately have to admit the biggest secret of all: they have fallen out of love with each other.
The entire collection taken as a whole has a similar kind of rhythm. One could consider each story before the last as being a rolling sentence. They all have open endings. The final story in the collection, however, is so clean, so wrapped up:
I am not the only man to seek his fortune far from home,
and certainly I am not the first. Still there are times I am
bewildered by each mile I have traveled, each meal I have eaten,
each person I have known, each room in which I have slept. As ordinary
as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond my imagination. (198)
And in these last few lines, the reader cannot help but feel the connection between all the stories, that they are individual songs connected by their interests in singing the inner lives of ordinary men and women.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone