Category Archives: A Room Of Your Own

Musing On Love

~~~
Orange sunset reflected on the very edge of wet sand. There is a darkness here that she recognizes–but it’s that glow on the horizon that she can’t get enough of, and the two sand birds dancing their way down the beach. She chooses this though she is aware and in awe of the truth waves crashing again and again and the various ways we lie–we all lie–to get what we want.
~~~
Tadasana at ocean edge. Water receding, my navel glows like sunset. This slipping away isn’t slipping away at all and so I don’t resist.
~~~
Thank god I’m made of more than heart because seeming strong sinew contains nerves that over-fire or can’t think to fire at all when the signal for your philosopher’s brow, poet’s lips, warrior’s shoulders, legs, rump flash where feeling originates–the brain.
I’m only watching, not cowering and I am in awe of not you, but me. Because it is my body this is happening in. This is what I am capable of when inspired. Hallelujah! It’s not envy, greed, fear, or pain that rule me, you happy reminder of why I am in this silly body after all–to love with a wild wide heart. Your imperfections only provide the novelty my brain, of course, desires. Simply: I love–yes, you–but more importantly, I love.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

A prompt and how I approached it

The prompt: Write a first-person story in which you use the first-person pronoun (I or me or my) as little as possible. 600 words.

Caffeine Dreams isn’t likely to last long here in this rain-drowned former logging town. It’s the first of its kind as far as I know. Espresso shots in off-white cups and saucers, four vegetarian sandwiches, homemade soup: this place doesn’t cater to the locals. The young couple at the counter, presumably the owners, are likely hoping that either they’ll be able to make converts or to draw enough closet artisans out of their hiding places to turn the whole street in their direction. When the woman laughs I almost believe it too, and then again when she fills my coffee cup, and asks, “Can I get you something else?”
Her shoulder-length brown hair brushes her cheek as she bends to pour my coffee, peeks at my pile of novels, my stack of composition notebooks, the open one closed over my long black-painted finger nails, still holding the pen. Her black frame glasses obscure her clear brown eyes, her thick lashes.
“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“No. What?”
“Shouldn’t you be in school?” She apparently changes her mind before I can squeeze out a reply. “Oh, never mind. I won’t hassle you. I skipped a few classes in my day,” she laughs.
She laughs often because she’s living her dream, fighting against expectation, pushing for reform, and because she’s in love, in love with the green-eyed, muscular, goateed man drying coffee cups behind the register. He’s wearing a blue nude T-shirt and at one point I made thirteen hash marks in my notebook counting the number of times he said “right on” to customers. There are only a few customers and a few more who have passed on during the hours I’ve been sitting here.
This balding, naturally curly reddish blond man moves the index finger and thumb of his left hand up and down his beard as he sits reading something I’ve never heard of, a paperback with yellowing edges and an Asian character of some sort on front. When his attention is drawn to the young owners, laughing while they work, his brow knits and he shakes his head, smiles that if-you-only-knew-what-a-fool smile. He’s sinking into an armchair in the far corner, next to where a fire crackles and glows.
An elderly woman, clip-on sunburst earrings, prune skin, white hair, sagging nylons, a big-buttoned wool blazer is sitting nearest the door, filling in a crossword puzzle. She puckers her wine colored lips in concentration, clicks her tongue.
And then there’s him, who I will only ever admire from afar. The painter who talks so sexy, so sure, who when he speaks light and perspective and social responsibility, not even, but especially, the otherwise bright girls swoon and are worse for swooning because they didn’t imagine themselves capable. Painters are rare in this lost, work boot town. Here’s someone to fear, I think.
And then just when it’s seems to have all fallen into place, a sound unanticipated interrupts the seeming scene. The child’s wail sends the slim-hipped owner, her black half-apron tied around her hips, fast-walking through the swinging double doors to the back room. She’s smiling again when she comes back through, holding the back of his round head to press the child against her shoulder. She’s bouncing the child up and down, saying something including the phrase “your turn” to the acquiescent father who takes the child and kisses the mother on the cheek as he moves through the swinging doors to the backroom. I’m appalled by the truth. I’ve just seen the strangest sight I’ve ever seen.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Recipe for Inspiration

With a mortar and pestle, grind the following in whatever combination seems right to you:

whole black pepper
stick cinnamon
whole cardamom pods
whole cloves

Add the ground spices to a tea ball or pot along with fresh ground ginger and black tea.

Add warmed or steamed whole milk to the largest mug you can find in the house. Add sugar and honey if you like it sweeter. Take your mug of chai to your writing desk and start with a prompt–not a project. Sip at will.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Good Advice

Advice for aspiring writers by Jeffrey A. Carver.

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Loving Revision and a prompt

Blank white screen. That his how I began this next draft of my “completed” novel. Feeling compelled to make this partially articulated thing–this story egg–into a wonderful thing with arms and legs and lips and breath and a heart that beats, also armed with what I know, what has been suggested and advised, I began anew.
The body metaphor above speaks to how I’m approaching this draft. The story, like a body, will be greatest if like a good lover, I live in each moment of the story as it unfolds without focus on climax or resolution. I’m going to love every episode until this bag-o-bones fills its lungs and stands alive and howling.

Prompt: Write a sex scene.

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

The Equinox, Sun Salutations, and Freedom

Tomorrow is the autumn equinox, which means that the day and night will be approximately equal. It is tradition in yoga to perform a mala of 108 sun salutations on this day. I’m leading a mala at the gym where I teach today. When I woke up this morning, groggy and still sore from overdoing things on Friday, I thought good god, how will I do this? I thought I might have trouble maintaining enthusiasm or that the whole thing might bore me to death. I even began to think that I somehow didn’t deserve to lead such an event, that I was unqualified, a fraud. This conversation with myself is a familiar one. I ran a bubble bath and soaked for a long while, all the while watching my mind move and expand on that initial insecurity so that suddenly I was unloved and unloving, boring and blind, desperate and damaged. I recognized this pattern of tracing my own limitations with my mind. I stumbled out of the bath, woozy from the heat and on a whim–a new thought interjected at just the right moment–I reset my alarm and crawled back into the cool softness of pima cotton sheets. I dozed back off, spooning with epiphany.
I woke one half-hour later inspired, jotting down notes on modifications and visualizations for the practice. But larger than that, I was reeling with the implications of this realization, thinking, yes, living with intention, this is what it’s all about, taking full responsibility for your thoughts and actions and in doing so, taking control. Does this mean that I’ll never again feel boring, damaged, or unloved? No. I certainly will. But, thinking doesn’t make it so.
What’s important is that we rise above our own monkey-minds and be the people we desire to be every day. You don’t realize this and then cruise on through the rest of your life. It’s like yoga, a practice in which your ability to focus improves over time, but you’ve got to keep practicing to stay balanced, flexible and strong.
I believe this whole process of thinking started yesterday while I was shopping. Not once, but three times I merely passed by someone (consequently, all women), and once I actually reached over her head, but each time, the women created physical distance, a shift of the cart, a side-step, and eyes averted, muttered an I’m sorry. I couldn’t figure out what the hell they were sorry for. For breathing my same air? How does this relate to the rest? I’m not entirely sure if I can articulate that, but I will try…
I want to go brush up against people in the bulk isle, the produce section, whispering little did you knows every time I go shopping. I want to lead a global mala today and then come home and write about this guy named Travis (main character in my novel) who suffers for love. I want to write every day whatever I feel like writing. I want to pick the best advice from all the advice on wrting and living and throw all the rest away. I want to be who I imagine myself to be, because we are reinventing ourselves every single day. It doesn’t matter what you said or did yesterday or for that matter what you’ve said and done all your life. All that matters is that you love the imperfect you and commit yourself to that fabulous person you are.
Be fabulous! Be free!

Buy my books here. 

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Peter Selgin’s "Rigging the Ship Called Fiction"

I’ve had my share of struggles with point of view, tending toward being non-committal about it. This is something I’m actively working on improving now. So, besides just the practice and the writing and re-writing, I read this article called “Rigging the Ship Called Fiction by Peter Selgin. Here’s an excerpt:
“Point of view is a mindset; not just a way of seeing, but a complete set of interpretive criteria–a sensibility through which readers experience a fictional world: i.e., through which things are seen, felt, tasted, smelled, and (potentially) weighed and judged and put into personal or historical context and/or perspective. This mindset stems from character. And by “character” here I mean either a member of the work’s fictional cast, or that of an omniscient yet invisible host or narrator, or–and at the very least–the character of the author who selects and orchestrates the details with which we, his readers, are presented. And even the most objective, camera-like point of view requires a rigorous selection process. Call it viewpoint by by omission, if you like, but it’s still viewpoint, and it still requires the exercise of judgment and judgement exercised in the absence of character is folly.”

Buy my books here.

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Katherine Mansfield On Criticism

“I wonder if you happened to see a review of my book in Time and Tide. It was written by a very fierce lady indeed. Beating in the face was nothing to it. It frightened me when I read it. I shall never dare to come to England. I am sure she would have my blood like the fish in Cock Robin. But why is she so dreadfully violent? One would think I was a wife beater, at least, or that I wrote all my stories with a carving knife. It is a great mystery.”

Buy my books here.

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Homework

So, my mentor has given me this 78 question autobiographical questionnaire to complete as a writing exercise. The idea is to write quickly and not spend too much time on it. The hope is to gather material from the responses. Here’s a sample–the first question and my response.

1. Describe subject physically. Face, hair, hands, feet, body, gestures, way of walking, voice, clothes, etc. What are subject’s most pleasing physical characteristics? Most displeasing?

Her long face, olive-complexioned, suits the way she seems to brood even if she’s just daydreaming rainbows. In a day, she wears her hair long, pins it back, lets it down again, never settling. Her eyes probe and her gaze does not drop, except when her heart sometimes commands. She covers her hands, sandwiching them between crossed legs, draping them one over the other, putting them in pockets. Some years back her fingers were often cracked or cracking with eczema and now she’s grown accustomed to hiding them, as she’s grown accustomed to covering her mouth when watching a film that blows her mind or to a story that offends or enthralls. She prefers to keep moving, walking with long, determined strides or even run as fast as she can. Even in yoga class her voice is deep and loud enough to be heard by her students in all corners of the high-ceilinged monster of a room with no microphone. She never had the Monday—Tuesday—Wednesday underwear, but prefers to dress according to feeling. Oh, this fabric! Grown up slacks. Little girl cotton skirts. Blue-brown love knot. Red determination. Joyous mandala tye-dye. As she buys according to compulsion, she also dresses that way sometimes stylish, sometimes drab. Baby sis is designing a tattoo to cover the one on the left side of her upper abdomen of which she is ashamed. She counts the artist among the men who’ve maimed her. She can do ten push ups now and her arms show this strength. She’s never been fat, except for that one rough year, but she’s thinner now than ever and fitter because she runs, bikes, stretches, whatever she can do to keep propelling her body through time. She has trouble smiling for cameras, but not smiling in general. Her forehead is long, as are her legs compared to her torso, as are her fingers, as is her neck. She talks with her hands, preferring to move words from her mind through the tapping of fingers on the keyboard, the brushing of the pen on the page, the movement of legs over the ground, the chopping of arms through the air.

77 more to go! Woo–hoo!

Buy my books here.

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone

Turning

Think of one person in your life that you dread seeing, let alone even thinking about. Maybe out of fear of their manipulation (you always fall for it), their obvious ignorance, their passive aggressive attacks–whatever. Describe what it is about that person that made you pick them in one sentence. Now, change everything superficial about that person–eye color, hair color, place of residence, gender, etc. Write a story in which you bring out what it is about that person that made you choose them.

Buy my books here.

Interested in hiring me as a coach to get you boosted with your writing goals?
Find free resources and information here.
Some past posts to keep you making time: 
Adjust your pace accordingly.
It’s about the routine and how you shake up the routine
There are things you will have to give up
See it to achieve it
Washing the dishes
Write slowly
A celebration of the pause
Monday, a run through the driving rain
Zen accident
Get out of your comfort zone